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Secrets to Loving, Long-Lasting Relations Revealed, and It’s Involved But Possible

Dr. Patricia Farrell
6 min readJul 19, 2024

Finding love and maintaining those relationships is more than infatuation; it includes biology and culture.

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Popular psychology may sell books but lacks research, so it does not offer sensible and reliable information. Instead, it fattens someone’s wallet.

People are very interested in “love languages” because they think that speaking your love in the language that your partner understands is the key to a long-lasting relationship. However, although the idea of “languages” of love is popular, little research has been done on this imaginary concept of love languages.

Is there something like a "love language," and should we immediately rush out to hone those "skills" to ensure we'll find that person we want to share our lives with? Sorry, but it’s coming up short here. Everyone has a preferred love language; there are no defined number of “love languages,” and couples are happier when they speak each other’s preferred language, which no research can uncover.

We seek plausible reasons for relationships' success, such as helping people figure out what they need in a relationship, using an easy-to-understand metaphor that hits home, and providing a simple way to improve relationships. But love is more like a well-balanced diet. To…

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Dr. Patricia Farrell
Dr. Patricia Farrell

Written by Dr. Patricia Farrell

Dr. Farrell is a psychologist, consultant, author, and member of SAG/AFTRA, interested in flash fiction writing (http://bitly.ws/S94e) and health.

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