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Secrets Exact a Toll on Anyone Who Has the Information—Disclose or Not?

Dr. Patricia Farrell
4 min readNov 25, 2023

Whether it’s a family secret or something you know about a friend, co-worker, or corporation, secrets can be difficult to keep for many reasons.

Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

Life is full of secrets—those told to us, ones we discover ourselves, or those about us—and in all of these instances, we must make one primary decision: disclose or keep the secret.

Opening up has been shown to go more smoothly than expected when revealing secrets, providing frank feedback, or even expressing gratitude. Disclosure of privileged information can seem weighty and uncomfortable.

Thinking about sharing one’s worries, struggles, or aspirations may evoke concerns about others responding with discomfort, scrutiny, or cynicism. However, such concerns are often misplaced. Disclosure is rarely as awkward or damaging as people forecast.

We have to wonder why New York City’s Mayor Adams had a photo in his wallet of what he said was a fallen police officer he admired. It has turned out to be untrue, and his staff did a bit of creative work on the photo to “weather” it. Why would he do that? He hasn’t responded to that to date.

But there are several situations that pose particular dilemmas for many of us. Both maintaining and divulging secrets can have significant ramifications…

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Dr. Patricia Farrell
Dr. Patricia Farrell

Written by Dr. Patricia Farrell

Dr. Farrell is a psychologist, consultant, author, and member of SAG/AFTRA, interested in flash fiction writing (http://bitly.ws/S94e) and health.

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